Finding Bliss Read online

  Her father shook his head. “HIs cunning with words has rubbed off on you, dear.”

  That one hurt her. “I’m sorry father,” she said. “I ... it wasn’t anything about him that has rubbed off on me. I simply do not wish to admit to you what I have done. I had hoped to find you in good spirits today so I could speak with you. I wanted to apologize for my reaction last night and tell you that you are right. You cannot rescind your rules in a manner so that it looks like you’ve done it simply for me.”

  His mouth dropped open, and he stared at her. “Really, that’s what you planned to tell me?”

  She sat down on the bed beside him, and put a hand on his. “Edmund reminded me that you were right; that a king should never make laws simply to benefit himself, but always to benefit his people. And even though this would benefit the people, it would not be right for me to use this benefit immediately because it would lessen you in the eyes of your people.”

  Her father placed a hand to his chin. “So, is this Edmund trying to get in my good graces by taking my side?”

  Blissa shook her head and issued a small chuckle. “No, but he is trying to do something I was too upset to do when you told me. He wants to take a moment to think and find a solution. He thought I should ask you if you knew a way that he and I could be together without it compromising your rule.”

  Her father sat staring at her as if too dumbfounded to speak. “You love this man?”

  Blissa nodded. “I do, father. It’s happened quickly, for sure, but I love him dearly.”

  Roldan sighed. “And you’re sure he loves you, that he’s not someone hungry for power who wishes to usurp the fairy kingdom?”

  “I am sure, Father, and he has said that he would gladly speak with you to discuss his intentions. He has offered to meet with you at the Crystal Pond, or in his kingdom if you wish to travel. He does not wish you to be uncomfortable.”

  Her father shook his head. “I do not travel to the kingdom of men. Not since the days of Errol, and I shan’t travel there again. But this Edmund intrigues me. I would like to meet him, and then I will let you know if there is a way for you and him to be together.”

  Blissa smiled. “Thank you, Father.”

  He stood and walked toward the door. Halfway out of the room, he turned back to her. “I’m glad you’re home safe, and tell no one where you spent last night.”

  Blissa nodded.

  * * *

  Blissa had returned to Edmund’s castle and told him her father would meet him this afternoon at the crystal pond. Edmund had agreed, and when she went to give her father the news, he’d said, “Good. I will meet with him alone. I want to see his mettle myself.”

  Blissa had swallowed and agreed. She had no other choice. Now she was pacing the gardens as Edmund met with her father. She wondered what he’d think. She wondered if her father would think as much of Edmund as she did.

  “Blissa!” She heard her name and turned to find Eldred standing at the edge of the garden. He smiled as he walked toward her. “How goes it?”

  She forced a smile as he reached her. “Well, Eldred. How goes it with you?” she asked, trying to be polite.

  “I’m well. My apprenticeship is going decently. Dwennon is a very good teacher, but learning the intricacies of foresight is more complicated than it looks. I sometimes wonder if the oracles who are full fairy have it easier.”

  Blissa shook her head. “I doubt it. It always takes time, full fairy or not.”

  He smiled, and then said, tentatively. “Do you have a minute?”

  Blissa nodded, wondering what could be on Eldred’s mind. He emitted waves of apprehension as he walked with her over to a stone bench. She’d been so busy with Edmund that she’d not spent very much time with Maurelle, or found out much about her budding relationship with Eldred.

  They sat, and while Eldred’s handsome face was neutral, there was trepidation coming from him. “It’s alright,” Blissa said. “Whatever you want to tell me, go ahead. It won’t trouble me.”

  He offered a weak smile and dipped his head slightly before speaking. “You know,” he said, “your cousin thinks the world of you and she loves you dearly.”

  That was entirely unexpected. Blissa nodded. “And I adore Maurelle. She’s my best friend in the entire world.”

  Eldred leaned back a tad and frowned. He seemed very confused. Finally he looked at her and said, “Perhaps you should tell her that.”

  “She knows that,” Blissa said. “We’ve been inseparable since we were children.”

  “Except now you disappear in the afternoons and you don’t tell her where you’ve gone, and when she asks you about it, you lie to her, and when she tries to get you to open up, you refuse. You’re pushing her away, and it’s upset her greatly.”

  His words were a shock to Blissa. She’d not wanted Maurelle to know where she was going because she knew she wouldn’t understand about Edmund. But, she hadn’t meant for her to feel left out, to feel unwanted. She thought back to the times she’d spent with Maurelle, the distance, the confusion. She’d thought she was still struggling about her feelings with Eldred, yet those feelings of uncertainty, of wondering if she were loved, had not been about the oracle in training. They’d been about Blissa. She grimaced. “I’m sorry, Eldred,” she said, looking him in the eye. She patted his hand and said, “I didn’t realize. I hadn’t meant to upset her. I hadn’t meant for her to think I was pushing her away.”

  He nodded his understanding and looked down at the bench. He swallowed hard and looked up at her. “I have done something I shouldn’t have, and I hope you will forgive me. To help Maurelle, I looked into your future. Just a little bit, and I realize where you’ve been going, and I suspect you’ve not wanted to share that with her because it would upset her.”

  Blissa felt a slight pang of irritation with Eldred. “Have you told her where I’ve been going?”

  He shook his head. “Of course not. I’ve counseled her to talk to you, and she’s been reluctant. I think she worries you’ll push her further away.”

  Blissa shook her head “I wouldn’t.”

  “I think, if you tell her, tell her now, you can smooth the rift between you, but if you wait, it won’t get better.”

  “Do you speak to me as an oracle, or a friend? Have you looked into our futures?”

  Eldred shook his head. “I have not tried. It is not wise to seek answers to questions you have not been asked. If a vision presents itself, we must accept it, but our gifts are meant to help the rulers protect our kingdom, not to answer every whim we personally have. The good oracle is alert for important signs, but does not seek it for prurient reasons.”

  He looked so unduly serious in his little speech that Blissa had to stifle a grin. “That’s very good of you,” she said. “And I appreciate you telling me. I have been avoiding the people who I thought my news might hurt, thinking I shouldn’t bother them with something that was really minor. Just a friendship.”

  Eldred raised an eyebrow. “But it’s turned into more?”

  “Yes, much more,” she said. “So I will need to tell Maurelle. I should have, at least, alerted her to the possibility. You’ll leave it to me to tell her?”

  Eldred nodded. “I think it is best if she hears it from you.”

  Blissa noted her agreement and paused a moment before asking, “And how goes it between the two of you? Has she been favorable to you?”

  Eldred laughed. “I must admit that she has been more open to me, but mostly we’ve talked of her perception of your rift. It gnaws at her, greatly, though she doesn’t seem to want to admit it. It’s the reason I was willing to speak with you so directly on matters that are not actually any of my business.”

  “You care for Maurelle,” Blissa said. “So her feelings are your business. I should have taken more care to attend to her feelings, rather than being wrapped up in my own thoughts.”

  “Dwennon always says that when we focus too much on a single vision, we can lose vi
ew of the important tidings.”

  “Of course, Dwennon is right. He always is. And I’ll talk to Maurelle,” she said. “I’ll look for her now.”

  Eldred smiled politely and took his leave. She could tell that Eldred felt better having spoken with her, yet Blissa felt worse. This was not the news she had sought. She’d never meant to hurt Maurelle or push her away. She’d only wanted to avoid a discussion with her that would be upsetting, unnecessarily so when she simply thought Edmund a human. But, now that she knew which human he was, it was going to be difficult, and there was no way around it.

  Blissa thought it was perhaps best to simply ease into it. To admit that she’d been sneaking away to see a human, and that she’d not told Maurelle because she didn’t want to hurt her feelings. The honesty would be good, and it would give Maurelle a moment to settle in with the notion. A moment to get used to it before she had to accept the harder thing. Edmund was Errol’s son.

  But Edmund was nothing like Errol. You could see it in the way people treated him. They respected him, rather than feared him. You could see it in the way he treated others. If Maurelle met him a few times, she would see him for who he was, not who his father was.

  Blissa headed from the garden into the castle, its white marble walls pretty in the late afternoon glow. Vines and tendrils climbed the walls, and a few of the bulbs were blooming at the moment. It was one of the prettier times of year in the castle. Blissa headed to Maurelle’s room and knocked on the door. She waited a bit, but there was no answer. She frowned.

  Maurelle was probably out amongst the woodland creatures. She liked to visit with them in the afternoons. Blissa started out of the castle to find the path for the woods when she saw her father from a distance. She called out his name, and he turned and looked at her. His face was hard to read, so she hurried over as quickly as she could, hoping to find out how the meeting went with Edmund.

  She was worried seeing her father back so soon. It seemed her father should have taken more time, really gotten a chance to talk to him before making a decision. When she reached her father, he said, “We will talk in my chamber, in private.”

  With that, he said not another word and marched into the castle at a speedy pace. The fairies who were about all waved hello to him and he nodded in return. Blissa did the same, following behind her father at his rapid clip.

  When they finally reached his private chamber, Blissa shut the door behind them and spoke immediately. “What did you think of him?” she blurted out.

  He turned to her, the most serious expression on his face and said, “I told him I would give him my blessings and he would have my full trust if he withstood questioning under honorserum.”

  Blissa felt anger and fear swell inside of her. “Father, how could you? It’s deadly to humans.”

  He shook his head. “It is deadly to humans who deceive in the hour after they’ve taken it,” he corrected her.

  He was right, but she didn’t like the idea of him giving Edmund something that could kill him. “And how is he?”

  “How do you think he is?”

  “Father,” she started. She just wanted an answer, but the stoic expression he wore hinted that he would not answer until she did. “I think he’s fine, Father.” She closed her eyes, thought for a moment, really thought about Edmund, his spirit, his kindness. “I know he’s fine, Father.”

  Her father smiled. “You are correct, my dear,” he said. “I just wanted to be sure, to be sure that you have as much faith in him as he had in himself, and as much love for him as he has for you. I wanted no doubts, because I have a way for you to be with him. But, it means great sacrifice for you. Perhaps too great a sacrifice.”

  Chapter 10

  Blissa had gone for a walk to think it over. What her father had proposed would give her what she wanted — Edmund. But it would take away a huge part of her life: her fairy powers. She’d had them since she was a babe. They were a part of her, and the idea of giving them up, even with the great love she felt for Edmund, was a tough prospect.

  She walked down to the Crystal Pond, planning to head toward his castle again. She wanted to talk to him. It was her luck that when she arrived at the pond, Edmund was lying near the water’s edge, looking as if he might be taking a nap.

  It was likely the aftereffects of the honorserum. It was meant for fairy digestion, and could be used in interrogations. It made the fairy violently ill if he lied after having drunk it. For humans, the effect was deadly. And even when telling the truth, humans often felt just wretched after taking it. She realized she should have come sooner. Edmund would not have known to bring someone to help him home. She walked over to him, and he was on his back, his eyes closed.

  “How are you?” she asked, and his eyes popped open.

  He smiled at her, and she sat down beside him. “I’ve felt better, but I suppose it could be worse. I could be dead.”

  Blissa frowned. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t known my father intended to do that.”

  “As I told him, it was a good idea, given my father’s history. He was right to do it, and I think I fared alright.”

  “You have,” she said, but she didn’t smile. “He says we may be together.”

  Edmund sat up and looked her straight in the eye. “Really? He said we could be together? I convinced him.” He was beaming now.

  She wanted to share his joy, but she couldn’t entirely, not knowing the price it would cost.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “The price is steep. I have to ...” she wasn’t sure she was ready to say the words aloud, but Edmund was watching her expectantly. “I have to give up my fairy powers and my claim to the fairy realm throne in order for us to be together.”

  He started shaking his head immediately “No, Blissa, surely he can’t mean it. You love being a fairy.”

  Did she love it, or was it just that it was the only thing she knew? “Do you love being human, or do you think if you were suddenly imbued with fairy powers that you could adapt?”

  He shook his head again. “It’s not the same thing, Blissa. One involves receiving, the other involves taking away. Surely you misunderstood. Your father wouldn’t want you to give up that part of yourself.”

  “My father wants me to be happy,” she said.

  “But could you be happy if you had to give up so much to be with me?” he asked, leaning forward so his forehead touched hers. “You are the most wonderful being I have ever met and I think I would be in misery without you, but I would rather be in that misery than to know that I have caused you to lose a part of yourself.”

  She closed her eyes, amazed at how clearly he’d put this into perspective. “Magic is a part of me, but it’s not all of who I am,” Blissa said. “Still, it’s a large sacrifice. I should think on it.”

  Edmund pulled his head away, and closed his eyes. “No,” he said. “You shouldn’t think on it.” He gritted his teeth and then took a deep breath.

  He was apprehensive, and then suddenly there was a void. As if all his emotions had been sucked into it and she felt nothing from him. It was as if he’d erected an emotional barrier, and she wondered if there was ancient magic that imbued all rulers, whether they be fairy or human, with the ability to shield their true emotions from those with the power to sense them.

  His sudden barrier frightened her a bit. His tone, when he spoke, finally, was somber and resolute. “You must tell your father that we will part ways.”

  She shook her head, not wanting to hear this. “I ...” she said. “I don’t want us to part ways, Edmund.” And she felt the loss of him, even though it wasn’t real yet. It hurt beyond measure.

  He patted her shoulder and said. “I was wrong to raise your hopes, Blissa. The cost he has proposed is too much. I’d thought the fairy world was like the human world. I thought alliances were forged through marriage, not that marriage meant abandoning part of yourself.”

  Blissa’s heart seemed to stop in her chest as her brain turned over the wor
ds he just said. “Alliances forged by marriage — is that what you said?”

  “Yes,” he said, tentatively.

  “And how do these alliances work?”

  “It matters not, Blissa,” he said. “Your father has indicated the fairy world is not like the human one.”

  She shook her head. “I know what he said,” she tried to keep her voice calm, and she even sent a wave of peace through Edmund. “Just explain how it works in the human kingdoms, please.”

  He looked into her eyes, seemingly torn as to whether comply with her request. After a moment, he nodded and spoke. “Usually, kingdoms that are friends strengthen their alliances by marrying princes and princesses. But, if a nation has been at war and they wish to make peace, the peace is strengthened through the marriage of a beloved prince to a beloved princess.”

  She smiled. “I think that may be the solution, Edmund,” she said. “I don’t know that my father considered it. But, it’s a brilliant idea. He can rescind the law and as an effort to show our goodwill, we can marry.”

  “And you wouldn’t have to give up your fairy powers?

  Blissa wasn’t actually sure, but it seemed if the marriage were part of an alliance to strengthen the relationship between the fairy realm and Edmund’s kingdom, it wouldn’t be as necessary. “Perhaps not,” she said, standing.

  Edmund didn’t stand. He still looked fatigued. “Where are you going?”

  “I need to talk to my father about this. I’ll send my friend Eldred to help you, alright?”

  Edmund nodded and Blissa hurried back to the castle. She ran straight for the oracle den, a little building near the castle where oracles were trained. Once there, she hurried inside, breathless from the run, and called for Eldred. The main room of the den was empty, but a moment later, Eldred appeared from a doorway to the back, and Blissa said, “I need a favor.”

  She was about to explain when she heard and awful cry come from the back. It sounded like Dwennon. A moment, later Dwennon emerged from the back room, his hand clutching his head. “Get Hilly and the other healers and take them to the king’s chamber,” the older fairy said to Eldred. He turned to Blissa. “Hurry to your father’s chamber. He’s about to have a schism. I just foresaw it.”